Walking With Help

I remember saying when our son died some 27 years ago, “If anyone else around here gets cancer, I’m buying a blender!”

And that’s what we’ve done.  Tony still has no definite information, just that he has aggressive prostate cancer so he needs to get fit.  Last week, we bought a blender and a treadmill. I have to say, he’s committed to both! Thankfully, he’s already lost 3 kilos (7 lbs) and is feeling better physically than he did before he was diagnosed.  It’s not been an easy time, but we’ve been blessed with an extra-ordinary sense of peace and joy, a product, I’m sure of all your prayers! This is not to say that healing is a given; just that whatever circumstances come our way, we’re confident that God is in it, and will give us what we need, when we need it. That said, I have to admit: waiting has been the hardest aspect of this whole thing.  

But let’s talk about that verse I mentioned last week in Isaiah 40:31.  I’ll put it here in case you forgot it:

But they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

I was first drawn to this verse in the book, “Tracks of a Fellow Struggler” written by John Claypool, way back in 1974.  He very aptly describes this verse as being in three stages, none of them being simultaneous.  He also mentions that the most triumphant stage is the first one, about flying, and then on down from there.  

There may be times when, in the euphoria of the moment, you are able to soar with the eagles.  I know you’ve experienced this with me many times thru the years.  

Then sometimes we’re just running along. Things are happening. We’re not tired, necessarily; just happily fulfilling our purpose.

And then there are the times like this last week when we just seem to stumble along, moving from appointment to appointment, meeting the responsibilities and trusting God to not let us faint. 

This week while Tony was getting a PET scan to determine exactly where all the cancer might be lurking, I was out walking to pass the time.  I passed a church with a big banner that read, “Our church is open, please come in”

I surprised myself when I felt the sudden desire to just go in there and lie on the cool floor and pour out all my fear and trepidation to God.  I didn’t go in, and the feeling passed, but I think that’s what it feels like to “Walk and want to faint”, or possibly to ‘walk and think you’re going to faint’.  

Part of pulling myself together was when I reminded myself that I’m not sure that this will be the worst time we have to face before all this over. I may need to save the ‘laying on the floor” stage for later.  

Also, ironically, Tony is holding me up. He is a rock, soldiering on, preaching today in Japanese and looking like the picture of health (which he basically is).  Also our wonderful kids, who have rallied, are showing us every day that they’ll be here for us if the going gets tough.  

Looking around me, I realize that I’m not the only one in the world having an anxious day, and I remind myself that, with God in control, this may indeed be nothing and I’ll be laughing next week.

I hope so.  But a promise is a promise and God has declared in Isaiah, “Those that trust in the Lord will walk and NOT faint”.

I promise I’ll let you all know when we know something and then we’ll move on to other topics.

Have a blessed week,  

Marsha