Born to Speak

Good Morning Friends,

Thank you again for keeping up with us during this travel-time. And I hope you’ve been able to follow my “thought trains” as I’ve rambled along, trying to craft this wonderful language we call English. I am so grateful to have been born in a country where necessity had decreed that everything I undertake, from mealtime to worship has to be in English if I am to survive. Otherwise, I’m afraid life would have turned out much differently than it has.

I say this because lately as we find ourselves in a new country almost every other day, I’ve gained a greater respect for those who have had to learn the challenges of speaking to people like me. And as a tribute to those intrepid interpreters, I’d like to remind them that from time to time, we native English speakers don’t do much better.

What better place to find examples than in our own daily diatribes?  Here are a few illustrations taken from letters sent to various government offices over the years.  So here we go:  


“I am forwarding my marriage certificate and six children.  I have seven, but one died which was baptized on a half sheet of paper.”

“I am writing the Welfare Department to say that my baby was born two years old.  Where do I get my money?”

“I cannot get sick pay.  I have six children.  Can you tell me why?”

“Please find out for certain if my husband is dead.  The man I am living with cannot eat or do anything until he knows.”

“In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a boy weighing 10 lbs. I hope that is satisfactory.”

“I am very much annoyed to find that you have branded my boy illiterate.  This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was born.”

“I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my three children, one of which is a mistake as you can see.”

“You have changed my boy to a girl. Will this make a difference?”  

“In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.”


I guess this calls into doubt the idea that being born into a language ensures proficiency in it! 

So all you precious people who have been getting me on the right train, making sense of the menu I was given, and kept a straight face when I demonstrated my command of YOUR language … Good on ya, Mate

I read somewhere that if someone speaks English with an accent, you have to appreciate that he’s been very courageous at some point to learn such a difficult language!  

I'll get serious again next week,

Marsha 







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